8 words poetry
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not nice.. poorly doneOriginally posted by JLennon:I have tried these 8 words *pant*....... here goes:
She knelt by her bed and clasp her small hands
“Dear God,” she prayed softly “Please make amends
Remove me from this misery and pain
my time here has passed too long for any gain
I read the newspaper and learnt of SamÂ’s death
my permanent void is now filled with regret
Like a lost sheep seeking her handsome ram
week after week I only long for Sam
I am tired of all these pining nites
please give up my bread and let us reunite." -
but the gist is there!Originally posted by Lim Chu Kang:not nice.. poorly done
polish it up, and it will shine beyond expectation...
why not give it a try, and challenge urself?
Criticism not appreciated, constructive suggestion would however be gladly accepted... Just a word of advice... -
I am not a poet but i read poems extensively since primary 6. Its just a comment from my point of view that it is poorly done. You need not take it to heart.Originally posted by En':but the gist is there!
polish it up, and it will shine beyond expectation...
why not give it a try, and challenge urself?
Criticism not appreciated, constructive suggestion would however be gladly accepted... Just a word of advice...
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Hmmm...Originally posted by Lim Chu Kang:I am not a poet but i read poems extensively since primary 6. Its just a comment from my point of view that it is poorly done. You need not take it to heart.
ok, then I won't take it to heart...
One who appreciates poetry eh? Should try writing, no one is born a poet...
;p
Practise makes perfect... -
y leh? mabbe u can elaborate? i'll appreciate it.Originally posted by Lim Chu Kang:not nice.. poorly done -
at least we try...u can try and see how we commentOriginally posted by Lim Chu Kang:not nice.. poorly done