the chuck norris thread
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chuck norris hold the title for every record in the guiness book of records. those listed are the closes people have ever gotten
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chop 200th post here
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. -
Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.
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oooh....so he got the biggest b00bs?Originally posted by MARK1992:chuck norris hold the title for every record in the guiness book of records. those listed are the closes people have ever gotten
and he died the most tragic way? -
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.Originally posted by lageihsif:oooh....so he got the biggest b00bs?
and he died the most tragic way? -
omfg...Originally posted by DjMatrix:In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
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There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.Originally posted by omgukilledkenny:omfg... -
After Chuck Norris completed his IPPT, scientist are forced to research the next rarest metal after Ununhexium.
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Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.Originally posted by MohamedF:After Chuck Norris completed his IPPT, scientist are forced to research the next rarest metal after Ununhexium. -
oh....so....u said he ran 300 over mph just now was fake?Originally posted by DjMatrix:In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
HE CANT EVEN CATCH UP WITH A JEEP!! -
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.Originally posted by lageihsif:oh....so....u said he ran 300 over mph just now was fake?
HE CANT EVEN CATCH UP WITH A JEEP!! -
i feel like posting the ORLY owl to jack up post count..
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Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Of course he can't shoot out of his finger. The German died of fright.Originally posted by cApitaland:i feel like posting the ORLY owl to jack up post count.. -
Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have
a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in
every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the sh!t out of viruses.
That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill. -
+1
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Whoever told you there are special effects in the Matrix is lying. For the 360 degree scenes, they just attached a camera to Chuck Norris's left foot.Originally posted by Gackt247:+1 -
ORLY? NO WAI!
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Nobody says 'hit me' when Chuck Norris deals Blackjack.Originally posted by cApitaland:ORLY? NO WAI! -
If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.
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i go slp le cont tml
good night all!
chuck norris forever~
When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back. -
if u play online games, lotsa americans likes to crack jokes bout him.
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Damn it! I used to be a fan of all these Chuck Norris quotes! My favourite one is "The Bermuda Triangle was originally the Bermuda Sq, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kick one of the corners off."
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If you spell "Chuck Norris" in Scrabbles, you will win, forever.
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Fireice will 'roundhouse kick' ur ass when she wakes up.....
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When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.Originally posted by pervertboi:Fireice will 'roundhouse kick' ur ass when she wakes up.....