the chuck norris thread
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During a tyre blowout, Chuck Norris doesn't get out of his car to change the flat. He simply picks up the car and carries on his journey.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a car. A car needs a plane to fly. A plane needs a rocket to carry it to space. A rocket needs Chuck NorrisOriginally posted by tomsss:During a tyre blowout, Chuck Norris doesn't get out of his car to change the flat. He simply picks up the car and carries on his journey. -
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
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During a tyre blowout, Chuck Norris doesn't change the flat. The car changes its own flat because its afraid of his roundhouse kickOriginally posted by tomsss:During a tyre blowout, Chuck Norris doesn't get out of his car to change the flat. He simply picks up the car and carries on his journey. -
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
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A tyre blowout doesn't ever happen to Chuck Norris. If Chuck Norris wills it, every car on earth will suffer a tyre blowout.Originally posted by tomsss:During a tyre blowout, Chuck Norris doesn't get out of his car to change the flat. He simply picks up the car and carries on his journey. -
Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
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If your car breaks down early morning. Just the mere mention of the name "chuck norris" will be enough to roundhouse kick start your car.Originally posted by DjMatrix:Chuck Norris can kick start a car. -
Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:If your car breaks down early morning. Just the mere mention of the name "chuck norris" will be enough to roundhouse kick start your car. -
Chuck Norris can climb a rope without using his hands or a rope. He just roundhouse kicks his way up.Originally posted by DjMatrix:Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only. -
Chuck Norris doesn't climb up a mountain. He simply pulls the mountain down to him.Originally posted by DjMatrix:Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only. -
Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even need to pull down the mountain. The mountain bows down to Chuck NorrisOriginally posted by tomsss:Chuck Norris doesn't climb up a mountain. He simply pulls the mountain down to him.
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The mountain becomes the deepest when trench when it sees Chuck NorrisOriginally posted by DriftingGuy:Chuck Norris doesn't even need to pull down the mountain. The mountain bows down to Chuck Norris -
The meteorite impact that caused the extinction of dinosaurs was due to Chuck's legendary cannon balls.Originally posted by DjMatrix:Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
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The book "Journey to the centre of the earth" was written because the trench bowed too deeply to Chuck NorrisOriginally posted by DjMatrix:The mountain becomes the deepest when trench when it sees Chuck Norris -
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:The meteorite impact that caused the extinction of dinosaurs was due to Chuck's legendary cannon balls. -
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:The book "Journey to the centre of the earth" was written because the trench bowed too deeply to Chuck Norris -
The winners of the Big Sweep, Toto , 4D were actually Chuck Norris in disguise. In fact Chuck Norris won every single lottery in existence.Originally posted by DjMatrix:Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day. -
Chuck Norris had to stop doing his butterfy stroke swimming in the ocean. The tsumanis were killing people.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the street, planets have to stop orbiting for fear that Chuck Norris might hit them.Originally posted by DjMatrix:When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Chuck Norris had to stop getting out of bed. Each time he did so, earthquakes would strike the coast of JakartaOriginally posted by tomsss:Chuck Norris had to stop doing his butterfy stroke swimming in the ocean. The tsumanis were killing people. -
Chuck Norris' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
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Chuck Norris kicked a tree so hard, a monkey appeared within.