the chuck norris thread
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Chuck Norris' brain cells cure cancer... too bad he doesn't have a brain.
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Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.
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Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris' brain cells cure cancer... too bad he doesn't have a brain. -
Chuck norris doesnt have cancer.
Cancer has chuck norris instead. -
When Chuck Norris completes a push-up, he does not actually move all the way down, it's the Earth moving up and punching him in the face.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small. -
Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.
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Chuck Norris' penis is so small that when he has an orgasm the sperm
are released in a single file line. -
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.Originally posted by pervertboi:When Chuck Norris completes a push-up, he does not actually move all the way down, it's the Earth moving up and punching him in the face. -
Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home. -
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris' penis is so small that when he has an orgasm the sperm
are released in a single file line. -
Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because of their potency, silent because his butthole is extremely loose.
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# Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.
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Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because of their potency, silent because his butthole is extremely loose. -
Rocketry was invented because scientists once saw chuck norris flying to the moon using his own farts.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because of their potency, silent because his butthole is extremely loose. -
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.Originally posted by pervertboi:# Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married. -
Chuck Norris tried to round-house kick me in the face once, but heÂ’s really old, so I moved out of the way and he fell to the ground and just kind of laid there.
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mhcampboy is always right!
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Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina.
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If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris tried to round-house kick me in the face once, but heÂ’s really old, so I moved out of the way and he fell to the ground and just kind of laid there. -
Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.Originally posted by pervertboi:Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina. -
Although Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is extremely effective, he has two right feet and can therefore only use it if his enemy is on his right. Stand on his left and Chuck Norris is as dangerous as Barney the Dinosaur's yellow friend.
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In a fight, Chuck Norris doesn't get injured because he doesn't know how to.Originally posted by mhcampboy:mhcampboy is always right! -
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris Â… dies.Originally posted by pervertboi:Although Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is extremely effective, he has two right feet and can therefore only use it if his enemy is on his right. Stand on his left and Chuck Norris is as dangerous as Barney the Dinosaur's yellow friend. -
A shepherd once accidentally spilled his coffee on Chuck Norris' lap and refused to apologize. Chuck Norris went to the man's field and fucked every one of his sheep. Chuck Norris wasn't trying to get back at him; he just loves to fuck sheep.
