Male & Female (Old Joke)
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If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many have a gender. For example..
Freezer bags - Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.
Photocopier - Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.
Tyre - Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.
Hot Air Balloon - Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under its arse and, of course, there's the hot part.
Sponges - Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.
Web page - Female, because they're always getting hit on.
London Underground - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
Hourglass - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
Hammer - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
Remote control - Female... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider - It gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. -
Question: ~
Why isn't Adam and Eve Chinese?
Answer: ~ Because if they're Chinese, we'll all be in paradise now... they would've eaten the snake instead of the apple. -
hahahahahaha... good one..Originally posted by keuriseudo:Question: ~
Why isn't Adam and Eve Chinese?
Answer: ~ Because if they're Chinese, we'll all be in paradise now... they would've eaten the snake instead of the apple.
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Who would want to eat a poor cute little snake???
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i wanna eat snake at work...Originally posted by EvilDead:Who would want to eat a poor cute little snake???
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Did you know that Eve was the first carpenter?
She made Adam's banana stand. -
ROFLOL!!!!!!
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Originally posted by keuriseudo:Question: ~
Why isn't Adam and Eve Chinese?
Answer: ~ Because if they're Chinese, we'll all be in paradise now... they would've eaten the snake instead of the apple. -
And all of us won't be wearing clothes out of modesty.
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LMFAO!!!Originally posted by skid:Did you know that Eve was the first carpenter?
She made Adam's banana stand.
i know there's webby for adam and eve's jokes but i forgot it... -
Originally posted by skid:Did you know that Eve was the first carpenter?
She made Adam's banana stand. -
The New Definitions!
Some New Definitions of Common Words For You To Ponder!
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Rumor : News that travels at the speed of sound.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
Father : An Automatic Teller Machine provided by nature.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Optimist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
The Gender Of A Computer!
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you might have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.