Diary of a banana
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15 May 2006
Dear Diary
You know those alarm system they installed at the entry/exit of all stores and libraries? That one that goes off annoyingly if you pass through it with stuff you had innocently forgotten to pay or a highly magnetised card in your wallet? I had just discovered a way to make the annoying sounds, less annoying. This is done by stepping in and out of the system rhythmically....you've got to have the rhythm...in and out..in and out..its like lusting for someone..or something..you know..and those rhythm make a nice musical. I did it once, and everyone was looking at me. Their face told me they are in awe and impressed by my alarm system musical. Of course, I had only a few seconds before the burly security guard came over and asked what the hell am i doing. Sheesh, uncultured swine...
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lmao.. great idea u have.. nice beginning.. -
Dear Diary
I may have repeated this story or told somebody about it, but I am writing it down now. I think my school girls have this monsters growing inside them. Its so scary. I fear for my life...and virginity, and luckily its the last semester now. Phew. They are inviting me to go JB again. I rejected. The last time i went, they lured me to dye this horrible colour on my hair. A heck lot of them says nice, but i believe its a conspiracy theory to make fun of me after I rejected their love or advances. I feel so helpless, and suddenly I felt like I am being watched....
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The girls in your school sound really scary..
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ur school girls must love banana a lot ......Originally posted by laurence82:Dear Diary
I may have repeated this story or told somebody about it, but I am writing it down now. I think my school girls have this monsters growing inside them. Its so scary. I fear for my life...and virginity, and luckily its the last semester now. Phew. They are inviting me to go JB again. I rejected. The last time i went, they lured me to dye this horrible colour on my hair. A heck lot of them says nice, but i believe its a conspiracy theory to make fun of me after I rejected their love or advances. I feel so helpless, and suddenly I felt like I am being watched....
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Merry Meet Laurence82 Di Di,
What a nice diary... Hahaha A new hair colour might not be a bad idea afterall... It should be a refreshing look...
Blessed Be,
Oceanos -
Dear Diary
Recently, people begun to ask about my sister. I told each and everyone of them the same thing, she is not pretty, she is not nice, she is lazy, she is etc etc and all the negativity. Why people always think that I like to use reverse psychology? Some always love to take the chance to say heir favourite movie line in the most appropriate situation, such as saying 'May the force be with you' when soldiers started out on a mission. I always wanted to hand my sister over to her bridegroom on her wedding day, and seeing his shocked face when i say "My family problem is now your problem."
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"My family problem is now your problem"
evil banana!!
that thing is called a 'sensor', not alarm.
Wahlew.. muz be u dirty, lusting for the sensor?
And hor, din u choose the hair dye yourself?
I think yellow looks good on your head, why not give it a try? -
when is ah lau going to write about fatum kanchioing him ? ....
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Dear Diary
this is bad. Monkey see monkey do. How true. One guy, after reading the blog of this guy who went to Japan to teach, learnt the art of kanchoing from them and started to do it. What is kanchoing? Its a horrible tradtiion of the Japanese, which preys on the innocent, the poor, the darlings of the nation...arghh, I could no longer bear to describe it. Luckily, only one Singaporean caught the monkey disease. What would happen next? Will we get our arse ripped apart while klkk around Orchard Road? Will we feel an exhilarating sensation suddenly in the middle of shopping in Geylang Serai? Will we have to yell Armageddon?
Stay tune..i mean End
PS: Kanchoing is a bad naughty thing. I am petitioning the gabrament to stop such practices, like banning the import of Japanese chickens and culling Singaporeans who do such things. -
dear diary,
today banana got eaten by me. he screamed terribly as i peeled his skin off, then ripped his head off. as his soft flesh got torn into, he died. this is his final entry, written on his behalf.
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Amen
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which means that fatum should be killed...Originally posted by laurence82:PS: Kanchoing is a bad naughty thing. I am petitioning the gabrament to stop such practices, like banning the import of Japanese chickens and culling Singaporeans who do such things. -
Good stuff on a morning.
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I think she likes me, no ? ....Originally posted by udontknowme:which means that fatum should be killed... -
*slits fatums throat*Originally posted by Fatum:I think she likes me, no ? .... -
who likes you???Originally posted by Fatum:I think she likes me, no ? ....
banana??
or kopiosatu... -
*spurts and gurgles .....Originally posted by HENG@:*slits fatums throat*
Oh no ! ... not you too ! .....
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*conks out ..... -
i only saw "fatum should be killed" so i acted accordingly. dun feel bad, its nothing personal, just business.Originally posted by Fatum:*spurts and gurgles .....
Oh no ! ... not you too ! ..... ...........
*conks out .....
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its because Fatum is always kanchio-ing people...Originally posted by HENG@:i only saw "shouldn't fatum be killed" so i acted accordingly. dun feel bad, its nothing personal, just business.
and banana said so in his 'diary entry' something about killing singaporeans who do that... -
well now fatum is dead, throat slit from ear to ear, his lifeforce draining out of the yawning crevice across his neck, gently staining the ground, nourishing the green grass as ruby drops cling desperately to the emerald blades.Originally posted by udontknowme:its because Fatum is always kanchio-ing people...
and banana said so in his 'diary entry' something about killing singaporeans who do that... -
you make his death seem so...idk...Originally posted by HENG@:well now fatum is dead, throat slit from ear to ear, his lifeforce draining out of the yawning crevice across his neck, gently staining the ground, nourishing the green grass as ruby drops cling desperately to the emerald blades.
its supposed to be bloody and gory and messy... -
death, even tragic and violent ones, can be beautiful in their own right.Originally posted by udontknowme:you make his death seem so...idk...
its supposed to be bloody and gory and messy...