Short & Funny
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.... jokes
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!
... Now read without the word dog.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. -
I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain. -
Hippo very free hor...
But those are good way to keep me entertain... I'm loving it... -
hippo not free hor ....Originally posted by White_Shadow^AngeL:Hippo very free hor...
But those are good way to keep me entertain... I'm loving it...
please pay $1 per sentence ( if u find it entertaining ) -
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
Nice legs... what time do they open?
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Are those real?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Baby, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me. -