Gerrard hires Roy Keane to protect his home
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After searching far and wide for a guard dog ferocious enough to protect his home, Steven Gerrard finally offered the job to ex-Manchester United captain Roy Keane, who jumped at the chance to get out of his Ipswich Town misery and return to his wild ways.Gerrard said
"Erm, Keano is the toughest player I've ever faced in the Premiership. In our 3-1 win at Anfield a few years ago, he actually took a bite outta me leg. So, you know, straight away I thought of him for the job, like.
"Erm, he wasn't enjoying it at Ipswich, having to be nice to the press and everything. I think he was glad to get out of it to be honest. This is a job he can really sink his teeth into, and he'll be free to do what he does best, which is take chunks out of people. This time though, he won't get a red card for doing it".
Keane's former boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, was supportive of Keane's decision:
"Och, it's the best thing for the boy. Ye cannae deny he's got all the attributes for the job. Roy's too wild for management; he really needs a job where he can truly express his natural animal instincts. I think he'll do well". -
Sarcastic ...but funny .