Dear Diary (Lilo's Edition)
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Dear diary,
Life takes unexpected turns and twists most of the times....
The more one is sure of the path of their destiny, the more it is unlikely to happened.
I'd admit it is this unpredictable twists that adds flavours and spices to life.... After all, who would want a long boring life without any suprises...
I'm never one who looks back with regrets... and yes.. having lived a quarter of a century, I'd say that my life have never been perfect.. but every decision and every path i took had never been one I'd never willingly take on nor one that i took on with regrets...
This must be the reason why, I believe, I've took recent events so harshly... why all the sudden I'm so filled with bitter anger...
Yes... It's a blow... my pride's bruise.. my ego's broken...
What I've always held on so proudly.. my independence and my passion for life.. suddenly just doesn't seems to reflect what I am anymore...
I just don't seems to know the real me... and how much worse can that be??? When it's proven that the real you that you think you are, is not you after all...
A lesson learned... albeit in a harsh way... but it does tells you that you are not the center of the universe...
My pride will heal, my ego will mend.... my independence can be regain... and my passion can be rebuild..
I can and will eventually stand up again...
but does that means that life will not take anymore unexpected twists and turns???
Can I tell above that I've have enough of the roller coaster ride... that too many of bumper cars are making me sick... that too many visits to the haunted house are making me tired??
That I just want to sit at the bench at the side over there.. away from all the excitement?? I guess not... not when the exit out of this theme park has yet to be found...
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Dear Diary,
One fine day... a pair of shoes stepped into a puddle of murky water on the street....
The thick mud got stuck at the soles of the shoes... along with that... a streak of slimy yellow yuckiness.. hey and guess what?? It wouldn't be washed off with waters.....
Yesterday... the waters were murkier than ever and the soles of my feet were dirtier than ever... Imagine my feelings when I realised that whatever that can be said and done might not cleansed of the mud on the shoes!!!!
If nothing though... I must count my blessings and thank that good being above, whoever you are... for giving me with 6 saving graces... who'd rushed in and offered to help clean the mud.. Sight unseen.. reasons unexplained...Thanks.. to these 6 individuals...
Well... I would say the outcome might not be that bad after all...
And yes I did managed to clean the mud on the shoes... but the imprint will forever be there... only have my own self to blame??
I'm thinking something the line of ~ 'Don't bite off more than you could chew'??????
Hopefully after all misunderstandings cleared...things would work out well .. and that murky waters have evaporated....
There should be a happy ever after.... but at what cost????
The expense of my reputation??? BINGO!!! no prize for that....
The moral of the story??? Look where you walk... Stepping into puddle of murky waters will forever stained your shoes....... -
Dearest Diary,
I'm a very simple person.. who strived to keep things in life as simple as possible...
I'm not one to hide emotions, be it happy or sad from people around me...
Those who knows me well can tell very easily if I'm happy, sad, or irritated just by the look of my face..
I'm not one who like to face a problem, especially when it's known that it can avoided... this applies especially when it comes to the matter of the heart... I've always prefer not to be too blunt... instead taking a long turn to soften the truth always....
Not necessary a good thing, I know... but at least I dun see the hurt on my family and friends faces. Unfortunately though.. this kind of way is more often than not mistaken as a form of encouragement..
But yet again.. if that person knows me really well, they would have known that i not one who hesitate in making decisions... If I'd want something I'd would have say yes and grabbed it... When I say.. I'd think about it or give a vague answer... it's actually a big no-no already...
Sometimes.. time does not help change mind nor does it make a better perception in one's mind...
The more one pushes.. the more rebellious one gets...
A friend told me last night.. it's not the matter of whether one is ready or not to take a new step in life... It's the matter whether one wants to take it or not... for if and when the right opportunity is there.. nobody in their sane mind would not rush to grab it!!!!
If thats true.. then I guess my opportunity is not anywhere near yet...
So... living my life simply the way I want... hassle free is my priority... I really do not want nor need anymore complications added to it... If you get what I mean....
Take care. -
Dear Diary,
Many things in life could not be explained... nor could it be understand... Trying to make logic out of the emotions and thought in your heart and mind creates more havoc then peace.
One thing I realised is that the more one shy away from things you promised never to do or encounter, the more likely it'll happen to you.
It's hard to explain.. these confusing thoughts... these confusing feelings... how can one be happy yet sad... renewed yet afraid... confident yet unsure???
I've told myself again and again... never ever to rushed headlong into a decision without thinking it throughly... without giving it time... but again and again i think with my heart rather than my mind... and again and again.. i have so much doubts....
It's frightening... it's scary...
Sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Take care diary............. -
Dear Diary,
i don't get it.... i really don't .... Why must one always have to choose??? Why must one always have to make the decision and face the fact that in order to have one thing... you must give up another??? Why can't the world be as perfect as one would imagine... Why can't a person have it all????
Why choose??? When either way ... you're the one who's gonna hurt most??? Is that being selfish??? Can a person willingly hurt herself in order not to be selfish??? If that's the case.. then I'd admit yes.. I'm selfish.. cos I don't wanna be the one hurting...
Why make me choose... between frens and family.. family and frens... frens and family... family.. and.....
I don't want to choose... cause i want the best of both world.. is that too much to ask for??? yeah... i guess it is...
Take care diary..... -
Dear Diary,
Woke up and nothing's changed... the situation's still as it is....
I have this impluse to throw things suddenly... crash everything in sight..
Had i handled it that badly??? All i aimed right from the beginning is so that nobody get hurt.. that things would be like how it used to be.. That we're all still as before.. siblings, good friends.....now it seems i'm losing not one but both...
CRUEL, CRUEL, CRUEL....................
I don't wanna choose.......... -
Dearest D,
In life i guess it's inevitable that one must carry on without the close person you think you'd forever be friends with..... well, I'd been warned.. and as usual i chose to ignore it.... cos even till now i deeply believed , that whether to be friends or not is always up to oneself... never to fate nor life itself... but it takes two hands to clap... if one is willing and the other is not.... there's nothing that one can do can it????
Life carries on... a new chapter begins... but it doesn't necessary means this chapter is suppose to end should it??? It can still carry on??? not everyone think so... and so I must learn to accept it...
I've carried too much hopes and expectations... that's the reason for such deep disappointment...
It's time to let go... that's all i need to convince myself...
Take care.... -
Dear diary,
My first sunrise!!!!!
Amazing how I've lived a quarter of a century and this is the first time I've actually watched the sun rise.... Someone told me the other day that the best things in life are free... I'd just experience one of it...
So many 'first' I've yet to go through... and now, all the sudden, I'm beginning to noticed and enjoy them...
Thanks..... -
Dear diary,
Read this......
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Dearest,
I hurt you the other day...
I could see the disappointment in your eyes...
I could see deep regrets in your face..
I could see how much I've hurt you...
But you said, you'd not give up and for that i thank you...
Thank you for not letting go, for not giving up...
You'd deserved so much more... so much more then what i could give..
I'm never one that could express much.. maybe I've kept too much in me.. I've done too much.. seen too much... hid too much...
That was why I can't speak it out.. but it did come out the other night... everything just came spilling out...
I'm so sorry... Sorry.. sorry.... sorry......
But now you know why...can this selfish person have a selfish request??
Can I have time???
Give me time to let go of the past...
Give me time to live for the future.. for us...
and in the mean time.. just go on not giving up.. not letting go okie???
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nice pics of the sunrise lilo!
now the question: who's the lucky guy u went with?
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hmm.. e sunrise is reali beautiful. i hope u dun mind i save those picz.
aniwae, it`s kind of creative to have a diary here.. -
gee.... jO... that's a great compliment coming from ya...Originally posted by jOhO:nice pics of the sunrise lilo!
now the question: who's the lucky guy u went with? 
Wat lucky guy??????? -
thanks for the compliment!!!!Originally posted by tOoTy`gEr:hmm.. e sunrise is reali beautiful. i hope u dun mind i save those picz. aniwae, it`s kind of creative to have a diary here.. -
eheh cmon.. u can't keep the secret forever! ehehOriginally posted by lilogirl:gee.... jO... that's a great compliment coming from ya...
Wat lucky guy???????
which lucky guy went with u to watch sunrise lar? -
still awake..?Originally posted by lilogirl:thanks for the compliment!!!! 
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Originally posted by jOhO:eheh cmon.. u can't keep the secret forever! eheh
which lucky guy went with u to watch sunrise lar? 
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your kay poh radar onz liao..... -
couldn't sleep........Originally posted by Angel^_^:still awake..?
so thought i'd post the pics.... pretty ain't it.... -
it's never off.Originally posted by lilogirl: ....
your kay poh radar onz liao..... 
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Originally posted by jOhO:it's never off.
wat makes you think there's another there with me???
I could have been there alone.............. -
ehhe so were u?Originally posted by lilogirl:
wat makes you think there's another there with me???
I could have been there alone.............. -
no comments.....Originally posted by jOhO:ehhe so were u? -
muahahahahOriginally posted by lilogirl:no comments.....
enuff said.
congrats -
yeah... i know my photography skills did improve a lot...Originally posted by jOhO:muahahahah
enuff said.
congrats
thanks.... .. for the compliment..... -
muahahahahahahOriginally posted by lilogirl:yeah... i know my photography skills did improve a lot...
thanks.... .. for the compliment.....
not bad not bad... i like ur style. -
well... i learned from the master... the best of the best....Originally posted by jOhO:muahahahahahah
not bad not bad... i like ur style.
'nuff said!!!!!