Singapore girls - a challenge to love
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Star, Malaysia
February 13, 2005
Insight Down South By Seah Chiang Nee
EDUCATED and financially independent, the new Singaporean woman is running into a wall of male traditions that is leaving some holes in their relationship, including marriage.The trend had been building up over a couple of decades. In few other countries have women made larger strides in education and careers than in Singapore.
During the past few decades they have caught up with, and even overtaken, men in fields they had once dominated.
In university, women still outnumber men 55-45 with many moving strongly into subjects like media, mathematics, law and engineering, among others.
Recently girls won seven of the top 11 awards for A-level Physics, which had long been a boys’ domain.
Island-wide, women have moved into the highest ranks of the corporate world and commanded artillery units or police divisions, as well as trained jetfighter pilots. Ten women, aged 20-40, are planning to climb Mount Everest.
In short, the new female is able, confident and more than holding up half the heavens, but not getting equal success in their relationship with men.
This is running smack into a traditional male value of wanting to be seen wearing the pants, causing a growing “incompatibility”.
Better education has also led to the woman being perceived as too ambitious, self-centred and materialistic, not qualities that promote romance.
As a consequence, more men are choosing their brides from abroad, especially from China, Vietnam and most of all Malaysia, where historical links remain strong.
I attended five weddings in the last eight months that reflected the trend.
Four of the brides were from Malaysia and China and only one was local. I was told this was becoming a trend that government matchmakers have failed to correct.
One groom with a Johor bride said he had found Singaporean girls too materialistic and demanding. “One specifically set a condition: no living with my parents. She wasn’t happy dating on public buses.”
The women’s relentless pursuit of a career had come at the expense of learning to do simple household chores like cooking, ironing or looking after babies.
“If you want to marry a Singapore girl you must be prepared to eat at hawker centres for life,” one male cynic said.
A marriage agency owner told a radio interviewer how some of the girls had, on the first date, plied the men with questions like: What is your degree and earnings? Do you own a condo? “And they’re surprised when they didn’t get a second date,” she said.
Others find them picky, untrusting and calculative towards love and marriage.
Results of recently released research have found that one in five Singaporean wives is hiding her assets from her husband for fear that he will squander them or in case the marriage fails.
This 20% here compares with France (7.2%), USA (7.6%), Brazil (9%), Romania (12%) and Britain (16.8%).
But there are more hoarders in Japan (38%), Saudi Arabia (32%) and China (21%).
It doesn’t inspire trust. Another sign is the increasing number of cases when a private detective is hired to check on the spouse.
Pre-marital contracts are also becoming more common among people who want to keep their assets out of their spouse’s reach in any divorce. Almost six out of 10 women say in a survey that they are not submissive, while two-thirds believe they could live without men.
The changing female attitude is, of course, only half the cause.
The other is the man sticking to a traditional view that it is his right as head to leave the babies and household work to his working wife. One in two women here have a job.
The social impact is a growing number of single women, especially university graduates.
A growing minority is marrying Westerners.
This has prompted a newspaper reader to urge her well-educated peers to revisit some the traditional feminine traits.
Her letter followed reports that more Singaporeans, including young professional males, were turning abroad for brides.
She said she had worked in Vietnam and found the girls there feminine, their speech melodious.
“They work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them,” she added.
As for the Malaysian ladies, she finds them “neither loud nor argumentative, (but) pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their men without expecting anything in return.
“Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are smart and hardworking, with careers of their own.
“But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Vietnamese counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies.”
In contrast, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water in the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.
“The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding.”
The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love, she added.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the suitor.
“She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier.”
There are, however, some 200,000 men who have a poor education and a low salary. Their prospect of marrying a Singapore girl is slim.
One emotional man said online: “I’m fed up with life. Can’t even find a date let alone a wife.” For him and the rest, salvation lies in Vietnam or China.
o Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com
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"the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb"
New word.. aplomb. =D
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hmm i wonder -
Originally posted by Kirin_Rider:
Star, Malaysia
February 13, 2005
Insight Down South By Seah Chiang Nee
EDUCATED and financially independent, the new Singaporean woman is running into a wall of male traditions that is leaving some holes in their relationship, including marriage.The trend had been building up over a couple of decades. In few other countries have women made larger strides in education and careers than in Singapore.
During the past few decades they have caught up with, and even overtaken, men in fields they had once dominated.
In university, women still outnumber men 55-45 with many moving strongly into subjects like media, mathematics, law and engineering, among others.
Recently girls won seven of the top 11 awards for A-level Physics, which had long been a boys’ domain.
Island-wide, women have moved into the highest ranks of the corporate world and commanded artillery units or police divisions, as well as trained jetfighter pilots. Ten women, aged 20-40, are planning to climb Mount Everest.
In short, the new female is able, confident and more than holding up half the heavens, but not getting equal success in their relationship with men.
This is running smack into a traditional male value of wanting to be seen wearing the pants, causing a growing “incompatibility”.
Better education has also led to the woman being perceived as too ambitious, self-centred and materialistic, not qualities that promote romance.
As a consequence, more men are choosing their brides from abroad, especially from China, Vietnam and most of all Malaysia, where historical links remain strong.
I attended five weddings in the last eight months that reflected the trend.
Four of the brides were from Malaysia and China and only one was local. I was told this was becoming a trend that government matchmakers have failed to correct.
One groom with a Johor bride said he had found Singaporean girls too materialistic and demanding. “One specifically set a condition: no living with my parents. She wasn’t happy dating on public buses.”
The women’s relentless pursuit of a career had come at the expense of learning to do simple household chores like cooking, ironing or looking after babies.
“If you want to marry a Singapore girl you must be prepared to eat at hawker centres for life,” one male cynic said.
A marriage agency owner told a radio interviewer how some of the girls had, on the first date, plied the men with questions like: What is your degree and earnings? Do you own a condo? “And they’re surprised when they didn’t get a second date,” she said.
Others find them picky, untrusting and calculative towards love and marriage.
Results of recently released research have found that one in five Singaporean wives is hiding her assets from her husband for fear that he will squander them or in case the marriage fails.
This 20% here compares with France (7.2%), USA (7.6%), Brazil (9%), Romania (12%) and Britain (16.8%).
But there are more hoarders in Japan (38%), Saudi Arabia (32%) and China (21%).
It doesn’t inspire trust. Another sign is the increasing number of cases when a private detective is hired to check on the spouse.
Pre-marital contracts are also becoming more common among people who want to keep their assets out of their spouse’s reach in any divorce. Almost six out of 10 women say in a survey that they are not submissive, while two-thirds believe they could live without men.
The changing female attitude is, of course, only half the cause.
The other is the man sticking to a traditional view that it is his right as head to leave the babies and household work to his working wife. One in two women here have a job.
The social impact is a growing number of single women, especially university graduates.
A growing minority is marrying Westerners.
This has prompted a newspaper reader to urge her well-educated peers to revisit some the traditional feminine traits.
Her letter followed reports that more Singaporeans, including young professional males, were turning abroad for brides.
She said she had worked in Vietnam and found the girls there feminine, their speech melodious.
“They work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them,” she added.
As for the Malaysian ladies, she finds them “neither loud nor argumentative, (but) pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their men without expecting anything in return.
“Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are smart and hardworking, with careers of their own.
“But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Vietnamese counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies.”
In contrast, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water in the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.
“The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding.”
The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love, she added.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the suitor.
“She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier.”
There are, however, some 200,000 men who have a poor education and a low salary. Their prospect of marrying a Singapore girl is slim.
One emotional man said online: “I’m fed up with life. Can’t even find a date let alone a wife.” For him and the rest, salvation lies in Vietnam or China.
o Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com
Home
Oh, you miss out that there are more female entrepreneurs now than 10 years ago, from street 77th to my pubs, there is an increase of almost 20%, so now, those corkerels who like to make so much noise should give way to the hens ya -
For the sake of discussion, what on the f***ing world do you see as the problem here?
As much as the world has evolved, man and woman, one still needs love and gentleness, the other still needs emotional security and financial welfare. Let's talk about duck porridge. Anybody can cook duck porridge. Just grab a duck, boil some water, throw it in with some rice, cook for 15 minutes, nah, duck porridge.
Marriage also the same. Just a guy, boil some feelings, throw him in with yourself naked, cook for 15 minutes, nah, done.
It falls back to a fundamental principle which is why marriage as a legal instituion, is being abandoned and perceived as one "for the blinds".
This principle, which I call the Dilbert's theory is: all bosses (and all governments), are stupid.
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how saddening to know singaporean women are turning into monsters. : (
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and you will be more saddened to know that it is their men, their brothers, fathers, uncles that are causing singaporean women to become like this, so blame who??
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Originally posted by killtheink:
how saddening to know singaporean women are turning into monsters. : (
You don't follow them and turn into one also then can liao lor...
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I would not like to touch this comment, but still, monsters are not monsters, they are just called as monsters.
the baloney thing is that love is an emotion, by calling love in textual format, people already miss the point liaoz.
nabeiz, i can never get this point right, can't it.
the point is, love was never a point! nor is it pointless! it is just!
the most god-damned wonderful thing to happen between a man and a woman, and whoever looks upon a pair of lovers whilst being single him or herself, neh neh ni boo boo.
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the funny thing is that a sg men are calling other sg men's daughters, nieces and sisters monsters and vice versa.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
and you will be more saddened to know that it is their men, their brothers, fathers, uncles that are causing singaporean women to become like this, so blame who??
yeap can't blame anybody, really. ah maybe its the stress too, making them all so uptight.
Originally posted by AYYX:You don't follow them and turn into one also then can liao lor...
Haahahahah i won't. i dont like to take buses, but i like taking the mrt. acceptable? LOL.
: D
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good things don come easy
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Originally posted by killtheink:
Haahahahah i won't. i dont like to take buses, but i like taking the mrt. acceptable? LOL.
: D
Ok lo, whatever makes you happy... me personally got nothing for/against bus/MRT/taxi/car...
But if you're game for it, can try learn from my teacher's wife...... even on wedding day, she herself fix + ride bicycle go get married to him... power la......
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Originally posted by FireIce:
good things don come easy
Too much of a good thing is unheatlthy also.
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post too long.lazy to raed.
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hello.
i don't get it.
when a reasonable conversation starts getting chatty, i start to feel that chit chatting is unreasonable and we should stick to the topic. but when i look at the original topic, the chitchatting is actually more reasonable. and the topic is unreasonable.
maybe i should start reading more personal blogs than forums liao.
personal tales of breaking the law are where the fun is! the news... is always about me not meeting up to expectations.
tomorrow night let's buy a newspaper company in singapore together. i contribute 5 cents first. dun worry i will not make the orbituary the frontpage.
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but the recent amendments to the women charter with the parliament's acknowledgement that women are still weak...
do they know what they are talking about?
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*phwee wee!*
i love u boss. come on, this is malaysia newspaper reporting news of singapore.
if sentosa become indepedent, straits times will also say sentosa birth rate too low, the casino should convert into hospital. fcuk.... pap..
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i can only say one reports the ground truths while the home reports abstract truths...
be clear un...clerexy...
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i do not love unclear minds...still dun get it?
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find a good singapore girl who is willing to share the finance burden together with the husband
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it turns out that what is yours is hers and what's hers is her future security..that is the sound and good financial analysts our Sg gals are ...upon divorce, u lose half of what you earned and she gains surpluses and the custody...
selfishness becomes selflessness...that is what the system and women charter wants us to doggedly believe without question...if not they call it whining....lol
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I think this is a good thread, therefore I am going to reply with great sincerity my answer and personal opinion to this topic.
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
i can only say one reports the ground truths while the home reports abstract truths...
be clear un...clerexy...
Boss,You sound like you come from Singapore system like me. See things so clear for what? In order to see things clear, you need to pay so much every year for Lasik and new glasses, so expensive u know. You talk about f***ing the PAP, but the system in Singapore is the most transparent and clearest in the whole world, well, I never really understood what the opposition talks about all the time, why are u f***ing the clear people, and not the vague ones whose doctrines are bullsh*t?
BE CLEAR F***er.
i actually love deluded minds like yours... no, don't strip, I just like your mind, not ur body.
Still dun get it? Thanks.
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Originally posted by FireIce:
good things don come easy
Correction:Good things come wif a price !