Hey Doc,
I have a bit of a quandary here. I've been dating Larissa off and on for four months. On the first date she told me it takes a long time for her to consider something a relationship. At that time I was not the proud owner of "The System." I set dates while I was on a date with Larissa. I didn't wait a week to contact her between dates. It wasn't until a month later, after she told me she wasn't interested in a relationship or dating, that I ditched my ego, purchased your book and became a member of the Doc Love Club. I saw EVERYTHING that I did wrong with Larissa. I allowed my Interest Level to skyrocket while hers plummeted.
After a month alone with your book and hustling new phone numbers, I was constantly troubled by what could have been with Larissa had I had "The System." So, violating the "BACK (YOU CAN'T GO)" principle, I called Larissa. We went out and had a great time. Since then we've gone out three more times, and each time I have watched her Interest Level rise because of my use of your techniques.
Everything is going great, Doc. Like you say, she is going to do what she wants, when she wants to do it and with whom. I have been able to relax and let things come more naturally and on her terms. She really does have to think that it's all her idea -- again, just like you say.
I don't want you to think that I am just being a sap for Larissa. I am out one night a week hustling new phone numbers and dating other girls, and I am seeing Larissa once every two weeks.
So here's my question. Larissa and I went out last night and, like
always, we laughed and had a great time. Towards the end of the night
she turned to me and invited me to her two birthday parties. One is a
barbeque at her house and one is at a club for a dance party. She said
that all of her friends are invited but I am getting a SPECIAL invite. I
take this as incoming, but I don't know if I should go because I won't
be on a date with her at either party. On the other hand, she may
consider it rude if I don't show up to at least one of these bashes.
Larissa is chased by a lot of guys, and I am a bit of an outsider to her
social circle, so I don't know what to expect should I show up to
either or both of these parties.
What should I do?
Igor - who is a true believer
Hi Igor,
Larissa told you outright that it takes a long time for her to consider something a relationship. So why didn't common sense enter your mind and tell you to SLOW DOWN? You were given a fair warning right upfront, weren't you? Look again at the name of my column, pal - WOMEN DON'T LIE AND MEN DON'T LISTEN. It's amazing to me that you didn't heed Larissa's warning - or mine - and TAKE IT SLOW with her the first time around.
You started out by breaking a rule, and then you went and broke another rule by calling Larissa after she told you she really wanted nothing to do with you. So all you're doing here is breaking rules, dude. You don't have my book and you break rules, you get the book and you break rules. You're not listening and you're not paying attention to what you read. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, "Some men just don't want to be coached."
I hate to have to tell you this, Igor, but Larissa's Interest Level isn't rising. Her interest in you is still below 50%. When she went out with you for a few weeks she learned all she needed to know about Igor. She can't erase that knowledge now. She can't forget all the mistakes you made even though you're making none now (though you did make another major one by trying to go back when the rule says you can't!).
Just who do you think you're kidding here, Igor? Of course you're just being a sap for Larissa. She told you she didn't want anything to do with you and yet you insist on hanging around her. Like my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "If sticking to her like an insect to flypaper ain't the definition of a pushover, I don't know what is."
Let's look a little more closely at what you're doing now. You're seeing Larissa only once every two weeks. If she really dug you, if she had any kind of hot interest in you, she would insist on seeing you at least once a week. So you're not seeing enough of this girl to make this something that's going to actually go somewhere. This situation is what we call a "retread." It's like an old tire, which isn't as good as a new Michelin. Larissa's just going out with you to fill time, guy, because she doesn't have anyone else right now. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, "If there was someone she liked, she wouldn't be dating you." And we already know she doesn't like you, right?
It's actually good that you won't be on a date with Larissa at her birthday parties. For one thing, it would be a group date, which is a big NO-NO, and for another, it gives you the chance to hustle other babes. Like my cousin General Love says, "Soldier, you have to learn to see the openings on the battlefield." Since you've got nothing going with Larissa, you're going to attend both the barbecue and the dance party and you're going to be cordial to the hostess. Then you're going to hustle her best-looking girlfriends and get as many phone numbers as you can. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, "Bro, you're gonna turn her birthday blasts to your advantage."
And when you show up to these parties, you're going to be the best-dressed man there. You're going to stand out in the crowd when you hustle Larissa's friends and you're going to forget about her because she's already forgotten about you.
Remember, guys: you get one shot per girl per lifetime.
James Franco is very handsome and talented actor, too bad he wasn't given opportunities to cast in major roles in Hollywood movies.
I would love to see him act as Anakin Skywalker in Starwars, think he would be more suitable for that role.