When a man gets married to a woman, he will have to spend the rest of
his life with her on a daily basis. If he married her at the age of 30,
he will have to spend the next 50-60 years with her. If he married her
at the age of 60, he will have to spend the next 20-30 years with her.
Think about it, we are not talking about days or months or years. We are
talking decades here.
If you had to spend the rest of your life with one person whom you would
have to interact with everyday, what kind of person would you choose?
More importantly, what character traits would you want this person to
have in order for you to spend the rest of your life in marital bliss as
compared to constant arguments and disputes?
Majority of men fail to look into the future when selecting their
spouse. Most of them focus on the more immediate and tangible aspects of
the relationship. The day of realization will come when he begins to
feel resentment in his marriage. He will then ask himself the question
“Why did I marry this woman?” If he had asked those questions before he
decided to marry her, life would be totally different. Prevention is
always better than cure.
So exactly what character traits are we looking for in a long term
partner? To put it simply, a man should choose to be with a woman who is
a Flexible Giver with Integrity.
Flexible. It can also be interpreted as easy going or accommodating. The
opposite of a flexible woman is a stubborn or hard headed woman who
always wants things done her way. No two persons on the face of earth
can agree on everything. So there will always be differing opinions and
disagreements, it’s just a matter of how those disagreements are
resolved. One party will have to decide to give in to the other. A woman
who is flexible will be more than willing to give in to her man if he
treats her properly. Men are supposed to be leaders and take charge in
relationships so a good woman will play her part by being flexible.
Majority of the time, the man will be making the decisions and his woman
will go with it. Men also need to know when to compromise when
necessary and not take advantage of her flexibility. If men let the
women take charge and make all the decisions, the relationship will not
last as the woman will lose respect for him. With no respect, there will
be no love.
Giver. The opposite of a Giver is a Taker. In order for any
relationship to flourish over the long term, give and take is the way to
go. When one party keeps giving and fails to receive from his partner,
he will feel shortchanged and resentment will start to build in his
mind. His love for his woman will decrease as the days go by and the
relationship will go downhill. When you give and do something for your
woman who is a giver, she will reciprocate in other ways. You will never
feel shortchanged. In fact, it would make you want to give her more
because of her loving attitude towards you. Such dynamics and happiness
will never be able to occur if you choose to be with a Taker. A man who
is always more than willing to give and not expect to receive is a Wimp.
A Wimp has low esteem and hopes that he can get the approval/acceptance
of women by being their butler. A clinically sane woman can never love a
man who has low esteem, it repels her. Women want men who are
self-assured and confident.
Integrity. Unlike flexibility and giving which can vary in degrees from
woman to woman, integrity has to be a hundred percent. A woman who has
integrity is honest, loyal and trustworthy. Nobody wants to be lied to
or cheated upon. And men should never go with a woman who has no
integrity because if they do, it will only bring them a lot of pain in
the future.
Is your girl a Flexible Giver with Integrity?
Wah liew........ so complicated...... get married for wad.....?????
They said love will eventually fades. So choose one that you can tolerate, so when you start to pick on the bad points, it isn't too much that it will be a turn off or make you wanna divorce her/him.
my family wont be in so much shit if my father had asked himself those questions before getting married.
but that was decades ago..
hur....if you have all the answers in Life....than maybe you be a Monk....
The same question is asked about you.....Are you a husband material.????
What kind of person who cannot live with another "Human Being" .....
have so much expectations abt your other half. what abt yourself ?
think and talk so much...
Too many youths are immature these days. Just look at the comments. Want to find FGI quite difficult. Go overseas find, hopefully FGI exists. I'd say the "G" giver is the more difficult requirement. In our chiong society many are Takers.
Originally posted by Fallen-Angel:They said love will eventually fades. So choose one that you can tolerate, so when you start to pick on the bad points, it isn't too much that it will be a turn off or make you wanna divorce her/him.
"Love eventually fades" only applies to people who do not know how to or can't be bothered to maintain their relationships, which is 90% of the population btw. Majority are just stuck in loveless marriage since they have kids to raise and 30 year mortgage loan to pay back to the bank. Divorce is not really an option for most couples in such situation.
If you chose a good woman to marry, you will have a lot less headaches in your marriage life. If you choose a not so good one, do not complain or blame your wife or pick on her bad points, because it only reflects badly on your lousy or non-existent selection process.
Originally posted by Kirov4ever:Too many youths are immature these days. Just look at the comments. Want to find FGI quite difficult. Go overseas find, hopefully FGI exists. I'd say the "G" giver is the more difficult requirement. In our chiong society many are Takers.
There are still quite a bit of good women out there. You just need to go through a lot more to get to one good one. And you only need one.