BGR Problems. Please advise.
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I am here to talk about an incident that happened to my friend and his girlfriend. I just want to know what you guys think about this relationship.
My friend (let's call him boyfriend) is a very faithful guy who loves his girlfriend very much. Most of the time I see him giving up his weekends to his girlfriend and thus he spend lesser time with his fellow friends or buddies. He is currently in NS but he is always free on weekends. He even agreed to give tuition for his girlfriend's sister.
As for the girlfriend, I will say she also love my friend alot. But the way she thinks and speaks just confused me and her boyfriend. Here is one incident that happened.
They had been dating for 2 years plus. They had a common committment which is to watch movie together every month. What happened is that the guy is spending most saturdays teaching his girlfriend's sister and sundays he got to go to church with her girlfriend. After church he will have to prepare to book in back to camp and his camp ain't near his house. After all, his girlfriend also needs to go to her aunt house to give tuition to her cousin.
Therefore there is one month they realised that they did not watch a movie for that month and they left 1 last week before the month ends. Just to make things worse, the boyfriend needs to be in camp on saturday thus he will be only be out of camp on saturday night. The girlfriend insisted on watching the movie and they both fought over this issue because the boyfriend is just feeling very tired and wish to have a break at home. He invited the girlfriend to come over to his house and they can spend time watching movies on the computer but she rejected the idea.
Sunday came and to the boyfriend's surprise, the girlfriend do not need to go and teach tuition, so she keep insisting of watching movie again. But the boyfriend is really tired after the saturday activities in camp plus he woke up early sunday morning to attend church. Church ends at about 4 and he promised his parents to go back for dinner. Therefore there is no way he can go out or movie. He wanted to cheer up his girlfriend and try to make it up by telling her to meet her at woodlands for movie on wednesday night as he can come out of camp for that night to have a break. But the girlfriend replied that she is lazy and don't feel like going down to so far just to catch a movie. In the end, the girlfriend suggested breaking up.
Before all these happens, everything was fine. Just because they failed to watch movie for a month and the girlfriend demanded a break up. The boyfriend is really sad about this. I can sense that he tired very hard. Everytime the couple fight over something, the boyfriend always give in as much as he can. So I feel that it is abit unfair for him. So what do you guys think?
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Movies is serious business
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Originally posted by TTFU:
Movies is serious business
care to explain?
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
care to explain?
The girl is immature Its just a lame excuse for breaking up. Perhaps the girl has no more feelings for that guy anymore. Breaking up because of movies ? Every week watch movie not tired ar ? There are 1001 ways to go date, go eat, go shopping etc etc Dating is to spend time with your love one. Watching movie is just a example.
Anyway shit happens when guys go into NS. One way to console him is, not only him faces this problem. If only the girl is more understanding, and their love is stronger. Just sad that things have to come to this point. If i were to advice that guy, ask him to get over it. Finish Ns and find another girl.
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One cannot live on love and fresh air alone.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
The girl is immature Its just a lame excuse for breaking up. Perhaps the girl has no more feelings for that guy anymore. Breaking up because of movies ? Every week watch movie not tired ar ? There are 1001 ways to go date, go eat, go shopping etc etc Dating is to spend time with your love one. Watching movie is just a example.
Anyway shit happens when guys go into NS. One way to console him is, not only him faces this problem. If only the girl is more understanding, and their love is stronger. Just sad that things have to come to this point. If i were to advice that guy, ask him to get over it. Finish Ns and find another girl.
actually they only watch 1 movie once a month. Not every week. The girlfriend is not don't love the boyfriend. The girlfriend is always very excited when meeting up the boyfriend. They are always happily together.
I do believe it's immature. The boyfriend was very upset because the girlfriend weight the relationship on movies.
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
actually they only watch 1 movie once a month. Not every week. The girlfriend is not don't love the boyfriend. The girlfriend is always very excited when meeting up the boyfriend. They are always happily together.
I do believe it's immature. The boyfriend was very upset because the girlfriend weight the relationship on movies.
Why only movies ? Other dates not counted ? Going to church meething up etc. If she is that immature to break up cause of this, then she dont love that guy also.
In this case, the girl is insecure i guess, or feelings changed.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
Why only movies ? Other dates not counted ? Going to church meething up etc. If she is that immature to break up cause of this, then she dont love that guy also.
In this case, the girl is insecure i guess, or feelings changed.
True. Very true.
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
The girlfriend is not don't love the boyfriend. The girlfriend is always very excited when meeting up the boyfriend. They are always happily together.
Doesn't sound like love to me. More like the kind of infatuation you get as a young child. Best for the relationship to end early since such a person is clearly not ready for one.
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both how old
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Emotions took over her when she suggested the break-up. She's probably regretting it now. Suggest them to have a cool-down period of a few days, then get the guy to call her up at the end of it to have a talk. That's how you deal with temperamental people.
There are many possibilities that could have lead her to suggest the break-up. It could be that she felt neglected ever since he entered NS. Or she saw him hanging out with his NS buddies that Saturday night (that is, he lied - his buddies probably had a part in it). Or just some misunderstanding that he's not aware of. If he wants to know the reason, he needs to arrange a meeting with her, apologize regardless of whether he's actually wrong, then ask for the reason. Some people just won't say the goddamn reason why they're faulting the other person for until they have some standing ground, in case they have made a mistake.
...and let me take a really, really wild guess - she collects the movie entry passes. In that case, she might be associating their relationship with these passes and hence their significance. Get him to hand-draw one for her.
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Originally posted by Poignant:
both how old
They are both 20. -
Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Emotions took over her when she suggested the break-up. She's probably regretting it now. Suggest them to have a cool-down period of a few days, then get the guy to call her up at the end of it to have a talk. That's how you deal with temperamental people.
There are many possibilities that could have lead her to suggest the break-up. It could be that she felt neglected ever since he entered NS. Or she saw him hanging out with his NS buddies that Saturday night (that is, he lied - his buddies probably had a part in it). Or just some misunderstanding that he's not aware of. If he wants to know the reason, he needs to arrange a meeting with her, apologize regardless of whether he's actually wrong, then ask for the reason. Some people just won't say the goddamn reason why they're faulting the other person for until they have some standing ground, in case they have made a mistake.
...and let me take a really, really wild guess - she collects the movie entry passes. In that case, she might be associating their relationship with these passes and hence their significance. Get him to hand-draw one for her.
You are smart. The girl do collects movie entry passes. That Saturday after he book out he went home because straight as he called his girlfriend using his house phone. So he cannot be outside with his buddies. Hmmmm. Maybe I'll tell him what he told me as an advice. Thanks.
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
They are both 20.the gf very free one meh, no need study?
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
I am here to talk about an incident that happened to my friend and his girlfriend. I just want to know what you guys think about this relationship.
My friend (let's call him boyfriend) is a very faithful guy who loves his girlfriend very much. Most of the time I see him giving up his weekends to his girlfriend and thus he spend lesser time with his fellow friends or buddies. He is currently in NS but he is always free on weekends. He even agreed to give tuition for his girlfriend's sister.
As for the girlfriend, I will say she also love my friend alot. But the way she thinks and speaks just confused me and her boyfriend. Here is one incident that happened.
They had been dating for 2 years plus. They had a common committment which is to watch movie together every month. What happened is that the guy is spending most saturdays teaching his girlfriend's sister and sundays he got to go to church with her girlfriend. After church he will have to prepare to book in back to camp and his camp ain't near his house. After all, his girlfriend also needs to go to her aunt house to give tuition to her cousin.
Therefore there is one month they realised that they did not watch a movie for that month and they left 1 last week before the month ends. Just to make things worse, the boyfriend needs to be in camp on saturday thus he will be only be out of camp on saturday night. The girlfriend insisted on watching the movie and they both fought over this issue because the boyfriend is just feeling very tired and wish to have a break at home. He invited the girlfriend to come over to his house and they can spend time watching movies on the computer but she rejected the idea.
Sunday came and to the boyfriend's surprise, the girlfriend do not need to go and teach tuition, so she keep insisting of watching movie again. But the boyfriend is really tired after the saturday activities in camp plus he woke up early sunday morning to attend church. Church ends at about 4 and he promised his parents to go back for dinner. Therefore there is no way he can go out or movie. He wanted to cheer up his girlfriend and try to make it up by telling her to meet her at woodlands for movie on wednesday night as he can come out of camp for that night to have a break. But the girlfriend replied that she is lazy and don't feel like going down to so far just to catch a movie. In the end, the girlfriend suggested breaking up.
Before all these happens, everything was fine. Just because they failed to watch movie for a month and the girlfriend demanded a break up. The boyfriend is really sad about this. I can sense that he tired very hard. Everytime the couple fight over something, the boyfriend always give in as much as he can. So I feel that it is abit unfair for him. So what do you guys think?
If the boyfriend is too tired to watch a movie with his girlfriend but not too tired to watch a movie on his computer with his girlfriend, then I think it's fair that his girlfriend is also too tired to stay in a relationship with someone who is too tired to spend time to accompany and watch a movie with her.Tired is a common and an extremely overused excuse for "You're no longer as important to me as before" Or "You're no longer my priority as you used to be" Or "I don't really want you as much as I used to in the past".
It's perfectly normal for you to support your friend or yourself if you are your friend.
But would tired ever be mentioned during the beginning or before the relationship, when during the courtship stage?
Really....it's the boyfriend's fault for thinking little of his own girlfriend. How come guys are always trapped in this imaginations that their girls are dumb, stupid and useless?
If not, what makes the guys think that girls would quietly be deceived and suck it up for their "I'm really tired" excuse?
Your friend really had it coming to him and he truly deserves to have an ending like this.
How would your friend reacted if he really wanted to catch a movie with his girlfriend and his girlfriend replied that she was really tired and couldn't watch a movie with him?
Let me guess ah.....react violently?
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Originally posted by parn:
If the boyfriend is too tired to watch a movie with his girlfriend but not too tired to watch a movie on his computer with his girlfriend, then I think it's fair that his girlfriend is also too tired to stay in a relationship with someone who is too tired to spend time to accompany and watch a movie with her.Tired is a common and an extremely overused excuse for "You're no longer as important to me as before" Or "You're no longer my priority as you used to be" Or "I don't really want you as much as I used to in the past".
It's perfectly normal for you to support your friend or yourself if you are your friend.
But would tired ever be mentioned during the beginning or before the relationship, when during the courtship stage?
Really....it's the boyfriend's fault for thinking little of his own girlfriend. How come guys are always trapped in this imaginations that their girls are dumb, stupid and useless?
If not, what makes the guys think that girls would quietly be deceived and suck it up for their "I'm really tired" excuse?
Your friend really had it coming to him and he truly deserves to have an ending like this.
How would your friend reacted if he really wanted to catch a movie with his girlfriend and his girlfriend replied that she was really tired and couldn't watch a movie with him?
Let me guess ah.....react violently?
I think your kind of thinking is wrong. Tired can be seen as an excuse but in geniune cases. Let's put it this way. All the guy wants is to stay and home rather then running around the whole place. But that doesn't mean the girlfriend is no longer to the guy. At least he made an effort to make it up to the girlfriend.If you were the guy, try not sleeping for 48 hours and let your girlfriend ask you out on a date that will take up half a day. Not everyone will be like you if you still can be up and running to run around the whole place with your girlfriend. It will be great if your girlfriend felt touched and appreciated. But what happened if she don't?
I never said that is it totally wrong to say tired is an excuse. To a certain yes. But you must see it at a different light at times.
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The best is not to have girlfirend till finsh ns why i am saying this is todays world what is call love ? for not going for and movie this girl make and big issue huh? cmon she things she own him, huh? yes guys sometime use certain excuses , why i am telling all this is i have an son who is doing his ns, just last mth went to tekong and he comes back on friday rest for a while and throw all his cloths in the washing marchine and goes out with his buddy to watch the world cup and that includes some of his new army mates and come back late morning and sleep till late afternoon, and spend some time at home, and then again go out at night and see matches and back early morning, i did ask him, hey are you having gf? he ask what i think? i think better not and he say yes better not all else i will be having hard times at night in the camp every day . well he is 20 after poly and when my time i was in the army i dont have pager or mobile all i use was the public phone, time changes alot all i can say to girls and guys think of the future dont spoil your youth, yes have friends and also if you thing having relationship then think all the factors, now days for the sake of having bf or gf and just cause their friends have they also must have , its wrong one this topc, by snowchick2005 if i am the was the young man i will notcall for and breakoff if she really nice and sincere but if she still the same way as before just call it a day cause in future if u dont comply to her she will start over all again and its not worth cause yesterday will never come back again
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love is a game..hate the game..not the players
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when couple is not balanced, it wont last. can see bf is the henpecked one. since its not marriage, there is no commitment to last. i am sure gf has plenty of options at her age, so NS-created stress is just opportunity for her to spread her wings. but life goes on, so hope for a better gf for your friend after NS. to be honest, if your friend in church, got too many girls and better ones to choose from lah.
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Well, NS is always the root for all problems for guys, but what to do?
Unless you special case, if not still have to do.
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dump her
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At 20, the aim is to move on with your lives. Why want an exclusive relationship with only 1 person when both of you should be expanding your social circles first? Maturity and a common objective being absent, the very foundations of a relationship is not even in existence......!
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Communication! communication is very very importance between couple. To me, He should ask her why would she be so angry upon a movie. Only then he can know how she feel about that case. We never know, to us missing a movie could only be a small matter but it might mean huge to her. And sorry, i dont really think tired is the best excuse to use. But do tell her that you are tired. And then plan to do something that will not tired you more. Like in my case, i told her i am tired as i only got 4 hour for the past few day, so we watch TV at her house. Both must be understandable and show care to each other. if she still demand on getting what she want when you state that you are to tired to fulfill her needs, and communication doesn't seem to work between, Then there are only 2 way left for you. To be her slave or find a new chapter.
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Originally posted by Snowchick2005:
I think your kind of thinking is wrong. Tired can be seen as an excuse but in geniune cases. Let's put it this way. All the guy wants is to stay and home rather then running around the whole place. But that doesn't mean the girlfriend is no longer to the guy. At least he made an effort to make it up to the girlfriend.If you were the guy, try not sleeping for 48 hours and let your girlfriend ask you out on a date that will take up half a day. Not everyone will be like you if you still can be up and running to run around the whole place with your girlfriend. It will be great if your girlfriend felt touched and appreciated. But what happened if she don't?
I never said that is it totally wrong to say tired is an excuse. To a certain yes. But you must see it at a different light at times.
If the guy is really tired, how come he can suggest to watch movies on his computer?Not THAT tired for him if watch movies on his computer?
If he is genuinely tired, he won't even counter-offer an alternative to watch movies on his computer, he will simply rearrange to meet up another day and SLEEP!~
Don't tell me because he cared for his girlfriend's feelings that's why he counter-offered an alternative arrangements, because that would really paint him as a hypocrite.
If he's tired and need to rest, then sleep and rest. Why bother to tell his girlfriend that he can still afford to stay awake to watch movie on his computer with her but not at the cinemas?
Take a taxi if he is really too tired to walk/drive to cinema. Aren't you guys always full of ideas even though they were useless and not helpful?
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Originally posted by parn:
If the guy is really tired, how come he can suggest to watch movies on his computer?Not THAT tired for him if watch movies on his computer?
If he is genuinely tired, he won't even counter-offer an alternative to watch movies on his computer, he will simply rearrange to meet up another day and SLEEP!~
Don't tell me because he cared for his girlfriend's feelings that's why he counter-offered an alternative arrangements, because that would really paint him as a hypocrite.
If he's tired and need to rest, then sleep and rest. Why bother to tell his girlfriend that he can still afford to stay awake to watch movie on his computer with her but not at the cinemas?
Take a taxi if he is really too tired to walk/drive to cinema. Aren't you guys always full of ideas even though they were useless and not helpful?
I guess you are not in a right position to say anything. I can see that you are just targeting guys for their wrong doing based on your own experience. First of all, not all guys are bad and some are good. Doesn't mean that you met a very bad guy in your life then every guy is bad. You are aiming guys not the issue that I had posted.
But still thank you for taking your time to reply this thread.