First of all my family is not dysfunctional. It's just that I can be a little OCD when it comes to cleaning the house. I really can't stand messy. I get home my head giddy see the house messy again. Is my brother, elder somemore. Keep putting things where not suppose to. Go army never teach to clean house meh? I really pissed off. Then my mom also the messy kind. Anyo seriously, I feel like a maid everytime. Why they so inconsiderate one. ARRRGHHHH!!!!
Since your family is not dysfunctional, that means they're reasonable people. Gather them over meal time or perhaps an afternoon tea at home to discuss your OCD, prepare some cupcakes and macaroons to make it a more easy going ambience.
Your mother and brother are not witches or socerers, they can't read your mind. Tell them their messyness is causing you lots of stress. I believed they don't do it on purpose and is unaware of their ways of doing thing. Or you could be a negative fault finder, only look for the bad?
Try to look at them in a more positive light, tell yourself at least your brother didn't steal your underwear, your mother didn't feed you with cat food.
maybe the dysfunctional one is someone else
How messy is the mess? Maybe can take some photos to show us. Then we see if you may have symptoms of OCD. Maybe you are just the type who likes things to be in order. tell your family to put things back after use.
I just sent them a nasty message at my family chat that I was sick and tired of this chinchai don't give a f attitude. And I asked them to change. Then the chat went quiet for a day. I crafted a long compo
ok.... seems like the 家人s are used to it.......
Originally posted by ISTARI:I just sent them a nasty message at my family chat that I was sick and tired of this chinchai don't give a f attitude. And I asked them to change. Then the chat went quiet for a day. I crafted a long compo
Ummm...so they don't like your cupcake and macaron, how about ice cream and young coconut juice to cool things down a little.
It's good that things has quieten down, so everyone can clear their head and resume talk again. Is your nastiness making the situation worst? Nobody like to talk to rudely, what are their response when you ask them to change?
i think one advice will be, compromise and you are sharing a living space. so if you tried telling/reminding about the mess & still they do, then let them see for themselves if you dont clean up for them.
sometimes people are complacent that makes them lazy or appear cant be bothered.
dont be angry, esp with your mother. find out the reasons why they are like that and how the messes happen.
if you really ocd and cant stand a single sight of dust, then you have to tone yourself down abit lah. nothing really goes our way (in life in general)
being constantly angry also is not good for your health. just take a deep breath every time you feel annoyed, frustrated, blood boiling.
make urself relax, then try your best to clean a bit (to make urself satisfied it is not as dirty as before).
i have a messy house too. and i try my best to clean what i can, as long as i know im satisfied, the area is not as messy as before.
the messes are always at the same place, so those areas i wont touch (to clean) unless i need to use.
always remember, they are your family. so always be polite okay! with positivity youll get positive outcomes!
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@ANGSTYNANCY, I think your approach is the best. I think I've to tone down abit. Sometimes, I get frustrated thinking that my family members are not on the same page with me. It's like I turn my flat into a condo looking house, then the mess just makes it worse. Like when I see dirty house my instinct is to clean it. It's quite tiring on me actually. Then the message I sent to my brother, now he like cautious when he talk to me. You know what, I think I'll just keep my room clean only
Only blank mind think alike, so how can your family members be thinking just like you? Don't think too much, think of how to improve your well being instead. You can't choose your family, they're stuck with you for life whether you like it or not. Make peace with them, try to enjoy your house even if it is messy, because it is family that makes the house a HOME.
Communication is key~ Just let them know how it affects you that the house is messy and that you would really appreciate a clean and orderly house.
But of course, you should also compromise, and not expect them to be super super clean. People have different definitions and ideas of clean and orderly, so what may be orderly to them may not be to you.
So compromise with your family and see what are the things they can do for you, and vice versa. And when you see that they are putting in the effort for you, let them know you appreciate it, so that they will continue doing it :D